Shopping, or not

Yesterday evening the presents that people had purchased from our gift list at John Lewis were delivered. Eight massive boxes, three smaller ones. It took me two and a half hours to unwrap everything, and in the end there were only a few incorrect items - a soup bowl, one wrong knife, four wrong tea cups, and a non-matching toaster and kettle combo. Not bad! We spent Monday evening clearing out space for the new stuff, and I'm pleased to say everything fit in perfectly. Years of obsessively playing tetris indeed honed my ability to stack items without wasting space.

Today I went in to change the incorrect items and pick up the lovely gift vouchers. I had to nip to Selfridges to pick up the old man's repaired watch, and managed to detour via the Mr Tweezerman concession (as recommended by the girl who did my wedding makeup). Let's hope I don't tweeze myself out of existence!

I also stopped at the corioliss straighteners stand. They are 100% ceramic, and have different heat settings. GHD are only 70% ceramic and are therefore less efficient at heat transmission which increases chances of frying the hair, and GHD only have one heat setting (210 degrees). The girl at the concession tested my hair and said 170 was plenty hot enough for my weak-assed hair. As I'm currently deliberating cutting all my hair off (a la Winona Ryder), the idea of new and less harmful straighteners might just tip the balance in favour of keeping it long. Anyway, these corioliss straighteners also have floating plates. Nope, I don't know why that's good - they seem to act a bit like I imagine shock absorbers do, but she put some lovely curls in my hair with them.

I didn't actually buy a pair but have put them on His list for Christm.... er... Channukah. Well, to be honest we're not doing presents at all. We don't do Christmas, and the Jewish present giving at Channukah is far less excessive than the traditional high street festival of Christmas. Plus, Channukah lasts for eight days and the idea of listing out eight things I want (having just had my dream presents delivered yesterday) does not appeal.

But I'll be putting these corioliss babies on my "list". Along with:
(2) a streamlined and tidy cosmetics and toiletries section of my drawers;
(3) nice plump pouty lips;
(4) a permanent job (but I'm starting on Monday back at the place I temped before the wedding, and that's ooking hopeful for permanent);
(5) supper at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant;
(6) a new pair of casual shoes (I don't like wearing trainers all the time - unlike Rufus);
(7) a couple of new, slinky tops that aren't baggy (ok, that's for Greg really); and last but not least,
(8) Greg to have another spate of time off because I miss seeing him all the time.

Oh look, I found eight things....

Out with the old

Well, I'm Jewish, married and unemployed. I've called the agency and the company I worked for until 2 November, and am awaiting a call back. Before I left, they seemed to be quite keen to get me back as either a temp or a permanent lawyer, so I'll give them a couple of hours before I start getting despondent.

In the meantime I've started a major clean-up. Long, long overdue. Before the wedding I couldn't face my desk. Hell, I couldn't even sit at it - papers had long since stopped settling on the desk and had started to drift floor-wards. One entire pile (florist stuff, I think) slid right off the desk, and when that happened I gave up trying to balance anything on the stack, reverse-kerplunk style, and piled things on the floor underneath.

Now however, I'm pleased to report that I have spent the last two and a half hours going through all the crap. I have lots of crap in and on my desk - bank statements, pension details, C Vs, job specs, know how from previous jobs, Bliss and Fat Face cataloges, and of course all things wedding related.

A large amount has made it into the recycle pile in the first cull - a whopping 1 stone 13 pounds! And that's just the stuff that *has* to go. There is more stuff that will go in the second wave when I have got into my groove and started being ruthless. Last night was the clothes cull (to charity mostly). This afternoon it's the cosmetics and toiletries cull. Anything I've not used in the past six months (makeup) is going to be binned. Toiletries will be critically evaluated. Random samples from Dior/ Estee Lauder/ Clinique (apart from the orange lippy which usually gets binned the minute it gets home) will be out. As will the random whim purchases. I'm de-cluttering everything, and streamlining. Apart from my figure, obviously, which suffered a bit on honeymoon!

Thank goodness for recycling. Let's hope I make it all the way to the recycle bins without the bags, or my back, splitting.

What's been happening

Julie, who left these shores a month or two ago, has a blog up and running. She's a keen follower of sports, so if you want an enlightened discussion on a sporting event, she's the girl to ask and this is the blog to read.

I read in the JC (Jewish Chronicle- full article is subscription only) that Israel is thinking about limiting the right of aliyah. This is enshrined in the Israeli Law of Return and guarantees to anyone in the diaspora with a Jewish mother, or anyone who has converted (whether or not throught the auspices of the Orthodox synagogue), the right to claim citizenship of, and live in, Israel. The Sephardi movement (being Jews of mediterranean origin, as opposed to Ashkenazim who hark back to East Europe and Russia) proposes to stop the Law of Return applying to converts. The whole point of Israel was that it was where Jews could go. Jews have been victims of systematic opression and violence and, before Israel's creation, were not welcomed in any country in anything like the volume required. They were sometimes sent back to their port of origin, which in some cases was nothing more than handing them to executioners. For Israel to limit the Law of Return in any way at all seems to be stepping aside from the original concept of the state, and one of the founding principles of the country.

Let's hope the proposal gets shot down in flames. Not that I want to move to Israel right now, but it's a bit of a kick in the teeth for any Jew, and relevant to any convert and there have been far too many of these issues where a convert is somehow judged as not Jewish enough. I know of two cases (both in the papers, one a family friend) where the mother converted in Israel and has been decreed not Jewish enough for her children to attend JFS (a Jewish secondary school in London). A conversion is a conversion is a conversion. To start imposing a standard within it is to start to debase the conversion process. Personally I think converting is quite tough enough without having to worry if your chosen rabbi has the right accrediations. You shouldn't mess with absolutes like this.

I wonder if Isla Fisher (of Home and Away/ Wedding Crashers fame) feels similarly - I heard in the taxi back from the airport that she's converted to Judaism too. Having googled "Isla Fisher Judaism", I'm not clear when she converted, and I don't think it's common knowledge as to which branch of the faith she converted to. I've always thought she was beautiful (red-headed girls usually are) and now I think she's even more special.

Married life

seems to be quite good fun, although I only have experience of three weeks of it.

We've just got back from honeymoon, which was a week on safari in Kenya and a week on a beach in Mauritius. Something to do with flight times and stop-overs in Nairobi meant that we were away for over two weeks, but only spent six or seven nights in each of the main two elements.

Greg took some amazing photographs on safari - we saw the big five and countless others too. We became a bit used to seeing tiktik and wildebeste (although seeing one thrashing around under a lion was pretty gosh-darn-it cool), but we saw them in so much detail! When we get the photographs up I'll link to them. I had an amazing pair of binoculars -the first time I used them properly was our first evening in Samburu when we saw a leopard halfway up a tree, eating something. I was able to see its whiskers. The binoculars let in a lot more light than Greg's lense, consequently to get enough light his shutter speed was s-l-o-w - so kudos to him for getting non-blurry photographs.

Mauritius was great. After a series of 4:30/ 5:30 am starts for safari we were still in the habit of rising early, which meant all the more time to spend at the spa, by the pool, at the beach, or just mooching around.

We didn't dive much. The first boat trip was in some big waves and then there was a noticeable swell underwater too. Our DM somehow managed to dive with only 100bar in his tank (and didn't tell us). Usually you go in with about 200, and surface about 60 minutes later with 70 or 80. So when he indicated the dive was over, I was at a loss - I was on about 100 myself. He pointed to his air guage which was empty. Damn! And then, of course, we had to sit on the boat waiting for all the other divers to surface. Pleasantly sunny, but not good for those of us who have funny reactions to seeing moving hills of water. One Frenchie said he'd been sick under water. I nearly hurled on the way back.

The dive itself - not amazing. Visibility wasn't as high as some places (Maldives, Red Sea) but we did see about four stone fish (poisonous) which I hadn't seen much of before and a yellow moray eel. No sharks though. No camera underwater either, which reminded me how much I enjoy diving with Greg. It's a bit like strolling through some attractive scenery surrounded with interesting flora and fauna - hang on, a bit like safari!

I need some book recommendations

I've got to get some books for honeymoon reading. I have been told I can't waste money on a nintendo DS Lite, so will just be taking my ipod and books for amusement. I could, I suppose, get a crossword magazine, or a sudoku magazine, but have not ever done that before. I think the lovely tall, slender, red-head gets books of sudoku, or her mother does, so I might ask her opinion. I'm not very good at sudoku though. Lucille is, and she showed me how to do it, but I haven't done any in months now, and yesterday I tried the Metro one at lunch - and couldn't get it even half-way done.

Someone I know has just got a Sony Reader thing, which I've been salivating over for the past month or so, but I probably don't have the time (or the cash right now!) to buy one of those. And even if I did get one, I'd have the same problem with what to put on it. I guess the books are cheaper that way though? Should find out before trying to buy one...

Anyway.

I've just finished a Jodi Picoult book. I read My Sister's Keeperin the Maldives last spring and the tears were flowing down my cheeks towards the end of the book. I bought Perfect Match on a recent stop in Waterloo, and it was just too depressing. I think Jodi writes well enough, but as I'm going to be in a happy place I don't want to voluntarily depress myself. I think I'll be sticking to purely hedonistic books, on happy subjects rather than ethical issues on raising a child as an organ donor, or child abuse.

I mean, I'll be on holiday with Mr W for two weeks (which is always fantastic because I will see him all the time unlike when we're working); we're off to some stunning places and might get some diving in (Mr W is currently salivating over a dive site near the hotel, called Shark's Nest); but it'll be a huge break after months of persistent higher-than-average stress; and we'll be married! Why take a book that might make me depressed? I'll leave reading more Picoult until I'm back to commuting.

Another book I've read in the past year or so, completely loved, and found totally engrossing was The Time Traveler's Wife. This book was also incredibly sad, and I thought the ending (the kid being a traveller too) was a bit strange and slightly weak. I'll probably take a careful look at the precis of the plot before buying any other books by for honeymoon reading. I do *not* want to be bawling my eyes out - this one was a bit of a tear-jerker at the end, too. I've had a bit of a root around on Amazon and she's only written three books, including the Time Traveler one. One of the others looks promising (The Three Incestuous Sisters) but turns out to be some kind of graphic novel (with beautiful pictures and a non-incestuous storyline, I've read). Don't want to be taking a picture book on holiday when every kilo counts. The other hasn't been reviewed on amazon yet. I will take myself off to my local bookshop, find The Adventuress, and read it for a few minutes. If I like it I'll buy it, but I have no idea if my local will sell it.

Blink was fantastic. I see the author has written another (The Tipping Point) and I intend to get that. It's even more highly rated than Blink. I still need another few books though.

I finished a book by Antonia Fraser about women in 17th century England (the Weaker Vessel) but am probably not looking for something that dry. It's all historical, obviously, but the amount of women that died in childbirth! the appalling child mortality! the almost permanent state of pregancy! the complete lack of legal rights! I'll probably read more by her at some point, because I'm interested in women in history, but not on honeymoon.

So. After a good few hours of thinking, I could only come up with a couple of titles (Tipping Point, The Adventuress), and a Sudoku book. So obviously I panicked. And decided to see what I've bought recently and not read. Turns out - a fair few books. So I have decided to take some books I've not yet read; whether they're mine or Mr Ws.

Which means the reading list for November will consist of:

Matt Ridley - Genome/ The Red Queen;
Philip K Dick - We Can Remember It For You Wholesale;
Robert Winter - Bloody Foreigners;
Peter Hoeg - Miss Smilla's Feeling For Snow;
Philip Roth - Americal Pastoral; and
Max I. Dimont - Jews, Gods and Monsters.

Unless anyone has some cast iron guaranteed fantastic reads, or if Christopher Brookmyre or Janathan Coe have recently published something I might have missed, I've got my reading list sorted. That is, until I arrive at the airport and hit WHSmiths like someone whose been on a diet too long tearing into a dairy milk...

A website with lawyer jokes

Some of which I hadn't heard before. Many of which I had. Anyway - click here.

I haven't found such a site targeting estate agents or recruitment consultants, but I live in hope.