What am I?

This week I have been expected to be part clairvoyant with advanced telekinetic skills and the ability to see through walls. I have also, on occasion, been expected to be able to perform short- and long-haul time travel. I am alternately expected to be an idiot who can't do anything, and then conversely expected to perform minor miracles with little recognition.

This must stop!

I mean, I haven't even started revising for my advanced paper in mindreading, and my dissertation on putting the monkey on someone else's back is about three weeks overdue.

To top it all, my guitar hero skills are not developing in accordance with standard procedure.

Ceiling Cat's bible

The bible according to Ceiling Cat. I found a link to it on a random web forum, read selected highlights and greatly enjoyed.

It's Molesworth meets txtspk meets ... um ... cat.

And it looks like the whole bible (plus the Christian New Testament) is on there.

Did you know Ronald Searle also created the St. Trinian's cartoons - and that he illustrated one of Archer's recent publications? I didn't either.

Is -7 a lower number than -5?

I found this article recently. It's a bit of a shocker. A company which makes scratch-cards had an idea - if the scratcher reveals a lower number than the number on the front panel, the punter wins. The cards were withdrawn because too many people displayed a complete lack of knowledge of maths and dealt with the "-" sign in front of a number as entirely optional; considering it didn't add anything to the meaning.

Some woman in Manchester was even happy to go on the record, under her own name, after confirming she had no GCSE in Maths, and say: "the card doesn't say to look for a colder or warmer temperature, it says to look for a higher or lower number".

I propose people who don't get negative numbers are sent to Siberia to test their theory that -40 is in fact warmer than -2; it being a higher number and all.

But at that point I suspect the C/F discussion would come up, swiftly followed by the soft "pfffft" as the hamster in the head stops pedalling.