Titan Triggerfish

Pretty fish. Shame it's homicidal (can you see the teeth?). And if losing small body parts isn't bad enough, remember that the bite can contain ciguatoxin which could finish you off if you're extremely unlucky. Or you could pass out and drown.

I tell you, returning to work was more relaxing than diving with these dudes in the vicinity.

Two steps forward, three steps back

This past fortnight hasn't gone too well. I have been full of a cold and have missed three weeks of synagogue. I went for my lesson on Sunday morning (starting the Aleinu) and my teacher said she thought I might be dyslexic. Which isn't exactly a compliment on my learning speed. I've not yet finished the book on prayer I'm currently reading, which is annoying because I wanted to have completed that last week. I still have time before the class though, so I'd better get my skates on!

Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I'm just annoyed because I had thought my progress was improving and now I've reached another impasse it frustrates me. It could be because I'm bunged up, have no voice, can't sleep at night and then can't do anything apart from sleep during the day. If I had a job, I'd have certainly taken most of last week off with this cold!

Here's hoping next week sees some improvement. I'm off to read about Jewish prayer.

Theophany

The main Western example of such a phenomenon was when God appeared to Moses (and all Israelites) on Mount Sinai. No real reason, here follows a blindingly long non sequitur.

I've been getting on with my studies quietly for a few weeks now, and have had several good and encouraging experiences.

First, I have just learnt the basic set of prayers/ blessings called Kiddush. These are said on Friday evenings at supper, and Saturday mornings after the synagogue service. The Friday evening Kiddush is the most important (despite the name of the Saturday morning kiddush as the "Great Kiddush") and candles are lit, and candles, washing hands, wine and bread are all blessed. I've just about learn the blessings, or "brachot" for these activities, and performed my first "Erev Shabbat Kiddush" last week. I was elated, this is a significant step. We had a lovely meal, and it was a very good way indeed of marking the following 25 hours as "special". Without the rituals and ceremony (I rarely light candles to dine!), it would have been harder to denote the passage into Shabbat.

Second, my shul - well, I'm not Jewish yet so can't actually be a member myself, but I'm converting under the auspices of the rabbi of that shul, and it's the one my fiance has recently joined. Sorry, deviation. My synagogue has an established programme of learning events throughout the calendar. The high-notes are two months in the year, in Spring and in Autumn, the synagogue arranges a series of evenings of learning, which run every Wednesday of the month. It takes different formats, but the November one is a two-session evening. You pick your selections for the first and second parts of the evening, and each week you attend both sessions. One of my courses is centred on improving one's knowledge of the rituals of Shabbat. This is really helping me to learn not only more about the blessings, but also how to pronounce and sing them. Having recently studied Shabbat in my Thursday evening class, it all seems to be clicking now.

Third, we've recently had a whole new variety of services and experiences - attending Rosh Hashana at a different synagogue and being able to follow the service (just about, and with help!); enjoying a Succot meal in a Succa; and participating in a joyous Simchat Torah service. All of these events, and a good long run of excellent attendance has meant my confidence with the Siddur has increased dramatically.

It seems only natural that as my confidence increased and my trepidation concerning the services - the fear that I'd lose my page and not be able to find it again swiftly - decreased, I would be able to enjoy the service for its own sake.

I have always enjoyed the service, but mostly as an intellectual experience. Nothing beats two hours of reading and singing in a foreign language as a mental workout. Now I'm more able to focus on the meaning behind the words. It's still an intellectual struggle, don't get me wrong, I'm always going to have to concentrate! The thing is that now I'm more familiar with certain bits I can enjoy those familiar bits, feel more involved because I can sing certain parts, I've learnt the words and the tunes, and I can feel a real sense of belonging. I'm also able to think about what I'm saying and what it means, a step up from frantically trying to decipher Hebrew and remember what tune to sing with it!

Then when we move to sections I'm not so hot on, I can identify which section is causing me problems - and begin to deal with them. Knowing what you don't know certainly helps. One problem I had was because a certain prayer was marked in the book - I assumed that meant it followed on beneath the heading but actually you had to turn back a few pages because they didn't reproduce it. That was resolved quickly once I'd actually worked out where the probem lay.

I'm reading about Jewish prayer now at what seems like just the right time to start going deeper into certain parts of the service.

The plan seems to be working. I wish organising weddings was so straight-forward...

The History of Israel and Biased Reporting

Well, I've finally nearly finished the 600-plus page epic that is Martin Gilbert's book on Israel. If you're interested, here's a link - partially gratuitous I'll admit, but it's my first attempt at linking on this software... Oh clever me, I managed it.

Anyway, this is an amazing book. It covers the history of modern Jewish settlement in the area now known as Israel since the mid-nineteenth century and right up to the present. There's a very useful feature - the year in question is written at the top of each page. I think this will make dipping back into the book for reference a lot quicker!

In so far as it is pretty much impossible for anyone who knows about this are of history to hold an unbiased view, this book comes very close. Gilbert doens't shy away from detailing Israel's less impressive moments and actions.

I'd recommend this book as a first stop for anyone who wants to know more about the history of Israel and specifically anyone wanting to convert to Judaism. You get enough of the historic stuff to see why Israel could come into being in the first place, and there's sufficient detail to give you a relatively detailed broad-brush overview without getting information overoad.

Many Jews I know say that the media, both in this country and beyond, is vehemently anti-Israel. Reporting events are "spun" such that, when reading the article, Israel appears to be the agressor, which is sometimes not the case. By reading this book I think I'm going to end up with a much clearer view of historical events and as such will be able to form my own opinions on the veracity of reports in the media. I don't think I'll be an expert on the issue anytime soon, but I'll be questioning what I read and paying it a lot more attention now I know some of the background to current events. This will help me to understand modern Israelis, and my Jewish friends who seem to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the situation.

There's a website (which will shortly be added to the small list on the right) dedicated to rooting out this type of journalism and alerting people to it. I'm not saying that Israel is always maligned, because I don't know enough to know that, but as I read this website it helps to clarify the real events and enhance my understanding. How can I understand modern Middle Eastern politics if I'm reading insidiously biased reports?

The website is honestreporting.com. There's a useful page giving an outline on "what is bias" and a story which caught my attention when I read it earlier this year. The story is a lesson on how far the truth can be twisted for a good story, and details events that happened in 2000. The story can be found here (however the main photograph is in black and white and better viewed on the HR homepage).

Mission Statement

I think that I'd better remind myself why I'm doing this. It's always good to have these things set out early on in a relationship in case it turns litigious.

I started on the course to conversion to Judaism (Masorti) a few months ago. I recently left my job. I'm getting married next year. These are quite big changes, and I'm hoping that in the conversion process, from Church of England to being Jewish, from one profession to another (or none, I'm still undecided as to my career aspirations at present) and from single to married I'll work out a few things about myself. I think that part's mandatory actually.

So I decided to write about it. Partly to ensure that I keep a track of my progress, and partly because I've never had enough time to think my feelings through. The wedding thing - I'll spare you. Apart from major issues, obviously. For the avoidance of doubt, I won't be considering "his mother is wearing the same colour as my mother" as a major issue. Hopefully it'll sneak under the radar here. Similarly, the job situation should also have a relatively minor impact.

What I intend to do is write about my conversion to Judaism. This might well cover some comment on Israel and current events there, and might not be exclusively related to conversion. Watch this soap-box!