Theophany

The main Western example of such a phenomenon was when God appeared to Moses (and all Israelites) on Mount Sinai. No real reason, here follows a blindingly long non sequitur.

I've been getting on with my studies quietly for a few weeks now, and have had several good and encouraging experiences.

First, I have just learnt the basic set of prayers/ blessings called Kiddush. These are said on Friday evenings at supper, and Saturday mornings after the synagogue service. The Friday evening Kiddush is the most important (despite the name of the Saturday morning kiddush as the "Great Kiddush") and candles are lit, and candles, washing hands, wine and bread are all blessed. I've just about learn the blessings, or "brachot" for these activities, and performed my first "Erev Shabbat Kiddush" last week. I was elated, this is a significant step. We had a lovely meal, and it was a very good way indeed of marking the following 25 hours as "special". Without the rituals and ceremony (I rarely light candles to dine!), it would have been harder to denote the passage into Shabbat.

Second, my shul - well, I'm not Jewish yet so can't actually be a member myself, but I'm converting under the auspices of the rabbi of that shul, and it's the one my fiance has recently joined. Sorry, deviation. My synagogue has an established programme of learning events throughout the calendar. The high-notes are two months in the year, in Spring and in Autumn, the synagogue arranges a series of evenings of learning, which run every Wednesday of the month. It takes different formats, but the November one is a two-session evening. You pick your selections for the first and second parts of the evening, and each week you attend both sessions. One of my courses is centred on improving one's knowledge of the rituals of Shabbat. This is really helping me to learn not only more about the blessings, but also how to pronounce and sing them. Having recently studied Shabbat in my Thursday evening class, it all seems to be clicking now.

Third, we've recently had a whole new variety of services and experiences - attending Rosh Hashana at a different synagogue and being able to follow the service (just about, and with help!); enjoying a Succot meal in a Succa; and participating in a joyous Simchat Torah service. All of these events, and a good long run of excellent attendance has meant my confidence with the Siddur has increased dramatically.

It seems only natural that as my confidence increased and my trepidation concerning the services - the fear that I'd lose my page and not be able to find it again swiftly - decreased, I would be able to enjoy the service for its own sake.

I have always enjoyed the service, but mostly as an intellectual experience. Nothing beats two hours of reading and singing in a foreign language as a mental workout. Now I'm more able to focus on the meaning behind the words. It's still an intellectual struggle, don't get me wrong, I'm always going to have to concentrate! The thing is that now I'm more familiar with certain bits I can enjoy those familiar bits, feel more involved because I can sing certain parts, I've learnt the words and the tunes, and I can feel a real sense of belonging. I'm also able to think about what I'm saying and what it means, a step up from frantically trying to decipher Hebrew and remember what tune to sing with it!

Then when we move to sections I'm not so hot on, I can identify which section is causing me problems - and begin to deal with them. Knowing what you don't know certainly helps. One problem I had was because a certain prayer was marked in the book - I assumed that meant it followed on beneath the heading but actually you had to turn back a few pages because they didn't reproduce it. That was resolved quickly once I'd actually worked out where the probem lay.

I'm reading about Jewish prayer now at what seems like just the right time to start going deeper into certain parts of the service.

The plan seems to be working. I wish organising weddings was so straight-forward...