Tuesday update
Hmmm. Well, my dad is trying to move my mum to either a private hospital or to the private wing of the hospital she is in at the moment. But a private hospital won't move her until the NHS hospital have worked out what is wrong and have decided on an "intervention plan" which is apparently NHS-speak for treatment.
So after a fruitless weekend speaking to local hospitals he decided that once the Stroke Team (apparently a one man band) and the Opthalmo [insert your own spelling here]… Team (never seen them; don’t know if it’s a troupe or not) had visited her as planned on Monday we’d know a lot more. We would know what they can do about her eye, or at least what caused it.
My mum feels sick. It could well be due to one or many of the following: no fresh air (windows always shut), hot rooms (well, obviously), slight stink which is exacerbated by the heat, a constant headache, she hasn’t had a bath since she turned up, she has one of those needle things in her arm "just in case" which has not been used since insertion, the bed is in an awkward position and she can’t find the buttons either to call the nurse or to alter the bed.
She's a bit fussy with food, and does not like fatty meat at all (it makes her sick), so she's not eating what they are feeding her – which apart from the teatime sarnies (which we eat!) sounds pretty well tailored to include most of her (TBH, it's quite small) food blacklist. My dad took in roast veggies and mango and walnuts and greek salad today. I was stunned to hear this, then he mentioned Waitrose opened early – and had some sort of bar where you can pick these things up. I don't think my local waitrose has one, but I'm minded to check next time I go! When I go in this evening from work mum has asked me to stop at M&S in Marylebone to pick up some mango pieces, a chicken sandwich and a St Valentine’s day card for my dad (well, for my dad but from my mum, and probably from the Cards Galore there rather than M&S) - so it's not likely she'll starve or, with the amount of mango she's eating, get scurvy.
My mum feels sick. It could well be due to one or many of the following: no fresh air (windows always shut), hot rooms (well, obviously), slight stink which is exacerbated by the heat, a constant headache, she hasn’t had a bath since she turned up, she has one of those needle things in her arm "just in case" which has not been used since insertion, the bed is in an awkward position and she can’t find the buttons either to call the nurse or to alter the bed.
She's a bit fussy with food, and does not like fatty meat at all (it makes her sick), so she's not eating what they are feeding her – which apart from the teatime sarnies (which we eat!) sounds pretty well tailored to include most of her (TBH, it's quite small) food blacklist. My dad took in roast veggies and mango and walnuts and greek salad today. I was stunned to hear this, then he mentioned Waitrose opened early – and had some sort of bar where you can pick these things up. I don't think my local waitrose has one, but I'm minded to check next time I go! When I go in this evening from work mum has asked me to stop at M&S in Marylebone to pick up some mango pieces, a chicken sandwich and a St Valentine’s day card for my dad (well, for my dad but from my mum, and probably from the Cards Galore there rather than M&S) - so it's not likely she'll starve or, with the amount of mango she's eating, get scurvy.
She doesn’t like ear 'phones, so I don't want to get her any audiobooks - plus there's the whole need to pay attention. She can't read so I can't get her normal books. I can't think of anything else I could take in to while away the hours and the tedium. She can't play sudoku. She probably couldn't play that Nintendo DS lite game that all the Resolver boyz have that works out your mental age (although I’m working out if I could get it for her and keep it for me…). However she has had visitors, in impressive numbers. Two friends on Sunday, three yesterday, some bringing freisas, and my mum loves the smell of freisas. Apparently the yellow and white ones smell more potently than the other ones, as they lack the colour to attract the bees. So on balance I don't think she's about to die of boredom, but I just can't think of anything to amuse her that she's not dependent on other people for - and doesn't need depth perception for. Ideas on postcards please!
It turns out they have some MRI/ ultrasound tests lined up for later today (fingers crossed please they actually happen) on my mum's brain and her upper chest, including all the arteries and her heart, to work out what caused the stroke. Apparently she might have a hole in her heart which might have let the clot form, and she still has a blood clot in her head which is giving her a bad headache – the treatment for which is aspirin. Anyhow, when they work out what happened on Friday they can start working out if it is treatable and whether they can let her go home or to a place with a nicer environment (and no thieves – someone, whether a patient, a visitor, or a staff member, jolly well nicked her pashmina on Sunday when she wasn't looking, and she's in one of six beds far away from the door so it’s not a passerby because they don't have them, and thinking about it incenses me, but dad said I shouldn’t replace it or bring it up in conversation). We should find out more today after the tests. What I mean is, my dad should find out more. I know I'm bugging him (he told me I'm bugging him, that's how I know) so am going to try to call the ward sister for information on her rather than calling my dad from now on. It can't be easy for him to deal with all of the queries from me and my brother, and as much as I don't like talking about it, I should really understand that he doesn't either.
I feel a bit of a heel about it but we didn’t make it in last night, and I didn't even call after 6pm. But I'd spoken to dad and he'd asked me to visit tonight instead, and said there was no need to go. Consequently I was sound asleep by 9pm, along with Mr W. We didn't actually fall asleep together – he hit the sofa and as there was no room I went to bed. Fully clothed, obviously. I woke up to wash and change when Mr W decamped to bed and felt very relaxed and well this morning (only to start having twinges of guilt about feeling good blah blah you know the score with this Jewish guilt thing). I had my interview yesterday and I really really liked both the company and the interviewer. They called before lunch yesterday to set up a second round interview (yay!) for next week!
I'd set aside my lunch hour to prepare for my other and unrelated interview tomorrow but the recruitment consultant called to move it to Thursday afternoon. I'm not sure if he realizes that a company that can't keep its appointments is getting quite annoying. This is the second move this company has asked for (was Tuesday, then Wednesday, now Thursday). But hey, it's not as though I have a personal life or anything remotely to do with my spare time apart from prepare for and attend interviews. I was tempted to tell him to sod off and to tell the company to ram their job but then I realised there was a teeny tiny chance that would be classified as an over-reaction.
Thank you very much for emails and comments wishing her well - it means a lot. I realise that it’s probably more normal to tell people face to face or on the telephone, but I find it easier just to announce it here and only speak about it when I have to. It saves some time. I seem to be thinking about it a lot and writing about it helps me (although not you – I shudder to think how many non sequiturs there are in this post), and if people then know about it then I don't have to explain. When people are concerned it seems to start me on the waterworks which I don't like. But I am genuinely grateful, and I think my mum likes hearing how my friends are wishing her well again.
It turns out they have some MRI/ ultrasound tests lined up for later today (fingers crossed please they actually happen) on my mum's brain and her upper chest, including all the arteries and her heart, to work out what caused the stroke. Apparently she might have a hole in her heart which might have let the clot form, and she still has a blood clot in her head which is giving her a bad headache – the treatment for which is aspirin. Anyhow, when they work out what happened on Friday they can start working out if it is treatable and whether they can let her go home or to a place with a nicer environment (and no thieves – someone, whether a patient, a visitor, or a staff member, jolly well nicked her pashmina on Sunday when she wasn't looking, and she's in one of six beds far away from the door so it’s not a passerby because they don't have them, and thinking about it incenses me, but dad said I shouldn’t replace it or bring it up in conversation). We should find out more today after the tests. What I mean is, my dad should find out more. I know I'm bugging him (he told me I'm bugging him, that's how I know) so am going to try to call the ward sister for information on her rather than calling my dad from now on. It can't be easy for him to deal with all of the queries from me and my brother, and as much as I don't like talking about it, I should really understand that he doesn't either.
I feel a bit of a heel about it but we didn’t make it in last night, and I didn't even call after 6pm. But I'd spoken to dad and he'd asked me to visit tonight instead, and said there was no need to go. Consequently I was sound asleep by 9pm, along with Mr W. We didn't actually fall asleep together – he hit the sofa and as there was no room I went to bed. Fully clothed, obviously. I woke up to wash and change when Mr W decamped to bed and felt very relaxed and well this morning (only to start having twinges of guilt about feeling good blah blah you know the score with this Jewish guilt thing). I had my interview yesterday and I really really liked both the company and the interviewer. They called before lunch yesterday to set up a second round interview (yay!) for next week!
I'd set aside my lunch hour to prepare for my other and unrelated interview tomorrow but the recruitment consultant called to move it to Thursday afternoon. I'm not sure if he realizes that a company that can't keep its appointments is getting quite annoying. This is the second move this company has asked for (was Tuesday, then Wednesday, now Thursday). But hey, it's not as though I have a personal life or anything remotely to do with my spare time apart from prepare for and attend interviews. I was tempted to tell him to sod off and to tell the company to ram their job but then I realised there was a teeny tiny chance that would be classified as an over-reaction.
Thank you very much for emails and comments wishing her well - it means a lot. I realise that it’s probably more normal to tell people face to face or on the telephone, but I find it easier just to announce it here and only speak about it when I have to. It saves some time. I seem to be thinking about it a lot and writing about it helps me (although not you – I shudder to think how many non sequiturs there are in this post), and if people then know about it then I don't have to explain. When people are concerned it seems to start me on the waterworks which I don't like. But I am genuinely grateful, and I think my mum likes hearing how my friends are wishing her well again.
More tomorrow if there's anything to say.
posted by Chaya at 1:05 pm
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