*Panic attack*

My best mate came over this evening, and as she'd read my essay we got to talking about it and what she had thought about it all. She then reminded me that in, oooh, what less than two weeks, I'll be in front of the Beth Din, and then, if all goes well, I'll be Jewish.

My, is this sinking in rather suddenly? It's not as if I didn't get into this with my eyes wide open and knowing the committment, but I wasn't prepared for how much I would love this new religion. It speaks to me on some basic levels. Up until recently I've been working rather hard on it and haven't savoured the moments as they come. In the past few weeks (maybe burying a relation had something to do with it) I've really had the feeling I've crested the hill. I know I've got the rest of my life to work on it, but at the moment it's genuinely a fantastic feeling looking back on the past 13 months and realising what I've achieved. This feeling lasts for a couple of nano-seconds before my nerves and supreme self-confidence get to me.

I might or might not post my essay. If you e-mail me, I'll send it to you but I don't really feel like cluttering things up unnecessarily.